I Don't Understand
by rakusukira005
Summary: Emotions are there for you to live with...but untill when can they be shown? [Kira and Lacus]


**I Don't Understand**

_A Kira and Lacus FanFic_

Lacus' hand flew to her chest as she watched them dancing across the shore. _He's so happy... _she thought. She clenched her heart even more to ease the pain stored within her. She smiled at them so sweetly from outside the balcony. She could see how the handsome brunette smiled so perfectly and his hands were loosely around the red-haired girl's waist.

Lacus hummed a tune to the beat of how the couple danced so gracefully. She couldn't understand what she was feeling. She was only a friend for goodness sake! And she had no right over him...but he had the right to thank her for saving the girl he loved so deeply- Fllay Allster.

The pain stabbing her heart was so confusing. _What's happening to me? _Lacus thought as the pain dug deeper into her heart. She closed her eyes and unconsciously fought the tears back. _Why do I feel like crying? _The sudden view of Kira and Fllay kissing drew her to the last of her limits...and then she started to cry.

She confusingly wiped the tears away so quickly. _I'm crying because I'm happy for him! Yes...I'm so happy for him! Good work Kira! _She managed to clap her hands weakly before smiling down at them so sincerely. "I guess...you were right Kira" lacus whispered.

Moments had passed and Kira returned to his house- with Lacus... and Fllay returned to her home- with the Cagalli (as she asked Fllay to live with her for Kira's sake though their houses are just steps away from each other) and the others.

He promised to check every room if everyone was sleeping but when Kira checked Lacus' room, he found her awake.

"Lacus...why are you still awake?" he asked her.

She gracefully turned around and looked at him with those eyes that held so many questions. He was in awe at her beauty in the night. Her pale complexion dazzled his eyes and the sincerity of her blue orbs calmed his spirit. He was glad he had her for a friend...a very close friend.

"Don't worry Kira...I just couldn't sleep that's all..." Lacus weakly replied. He smiled at her but when he did, she felt something squeeze her inside. _What's happening to me? _Lacus thought as her unconsciousness denied Kira's touch. He gasped a bit when she moved back a little- he always gives her this nighttime embrace...well not until Fllay recovered her memories.

Lacus was also shocked. She would often grab every opportunity to just be in his arms because she knows he'll never have time for her and the orphans anymore. He looked at her; his eyes fixed upon the mystery behind her blue orbs and he sensed something no one could sense- pain.

"Is there something wrong Lacus?"

She couldn't speak and somehow wanted to ask him about the funny feeling inside her heart but she didn't want to bother him.

He inched closer and held her arms. "You look sad...Why Lacus?"

Lacus shook her head slowly before looking into his eyes and giving him one of her genuine smiles. "I don't know...I feel funny Kira...I don't understand" She admitted. He sighed...it had been days ever since they did not talked. For the last couple of months, Kira slept with Fllay in Cagalli's house...and so Kira and Lacus never hand the chance to talk...until now.

"I'm sorry...I couldn't check on you and the children these past few days..." Kira apologized. To his surprise, she chuckled. "NO need to worry Kira...we understand your current situation!" she cheerfully told him. But he was hurt when he saw a mixture of emptiness inside her eyes...it stung him deeply.

He slowly gathered her into his arms and embraced her tightly...just like the nights they used to share when Fllay was still in that coma and giving Kira the crying nights that Lacus savored so much; just because she felt so needed. Then, when Fllay woke up and recalled her past with him, things were never the same again.

"Are you alright?" he asked again, worried to loose the greatest friend he could ever have. She nodded her head confidently. "Yes, of course Kira! It's just that I feel slightly different today..."

She buried her face on his chest and let his scent fill her being.

"It's been a while since you haven't embraced me...right Kira?" her childish yet sweet voice asked him. He nodded and laughed a bit. The warmth of her skin against his was a perfect match between the two friends...and friends will they only be.

It was not long before she realized that he was already engaged to Fllay and so broke away from the embrace gently. A smile crossed both their lips and then again, that pain inside of her stung again...this time...greater than ever.

He heard her shriek a bit and saw her fall back a bit too. He quickly grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into another embrace. "Lacus...what's happening to you? Am I supposed to know something here?" Kira said angrily as he felt her break in his arms. But she too was SOO confused at the feelings stored inside her heart.

"I don't know...I guess...it's that funny feeling again...but don't worry...it disappears quickly Kira!" her voice made him smile. Kira looked at her so lovingly and again that pain shot her; but she tried so hard to hide the mysterious feeling so that he wouldn't worry again.

"So will you be sleeping here for the past few days?" she asked like a child.

Kira nodded. "I think so...I miss playing with the children and I miss you too!"

She clapped her hands so weakly and a weak smile escaped her lips too. "That's great Kira! So we can play together again...just like before...right?" Lacus felt the tears coming but she fought them so hard.

"But after this...will you be leaving again?" a question she was afraid to ask him. He was taken back and dumbfounded. She waited for his answer but found him looking at the ground...looking so guilty and afraid.

"_The PLANT's?!" Kira exclaimed._

_Fllay nodded reluctantly as he saw that terrified look on her boyfriend's face. Kira sat on the bed with his eyes half teary, though he can't depict why. "What's the matter? Isn't that what we wanted it the first pace Kira: Lives of our own?!" Fllay fired back at him as she sat beside Kira. _

"_I know...but what about..." a vision of Lacus appeared inside his head, "what about Lacus and the others?" he managed to ask. "I can't leave them behind...especially Lacus!" _

_Fllay grinned when she heard that name. "Then tell her we will leave for the PLANT's" _

_Kira clenched his fists. "I can't do that...you know how she feels- about me right? I don't hurt her!" _

"_Then I'll give you a week to explain everything to her..."_

"Yeah...I'll be leaving after this week's sleep with you guys..." Kira lowered his voice so that he won't hurt her again but it was no use. Lacus felt that pain again and the longing was too much to bear.

"That's sad..." was all that Lacus could say.

He felt so disappointed with himself after he saw her sadden so much. "Lacus...I..." he was stopped when she placed a finger on his lips. "NO...you don't need to explain everything...I'll get hurt even more Kira..." she chuckled out to him. It hurt to hear her joke like that though he knew inside of her she wasn't joking.

"Cagalli told me you and Fllay were leaving for the PLANT's; it's funny why I still asked you if you'd stay here after this..." Lacus sadly told him. "Well, you love her don't you...so I guess it will be great to see you have kids after 5 years or more!?" Lacus smiled weakly but she gasped as Kira brought her in to his arms once again.

"If that will happen, please take good care of yourself. You have to be strong by then because I won't be there anymore to protect you!" Kira dearly told Lacus. She was brought to tears at what he had said and so embraced him back. "Of course... I promise I'll take good care of myself Kira..." she replied in a soft whisper. And the both of them stayed that way for a long period of time.

The week spent by Kira, Lacus and the orphans were joyous! They enjoyed the remaining time together and wasted no time. Everyday was filled with laughter and everyday she loved him 10 times more than yesterday...the more it got harder for her to let him go.

He knew that week with them would bring a great impact on her life but at least he was able to spend it with her happily. They were friends involved in the simplest of intimacies and he often wondered why he loved those intimacies.

The week was over now and it was time for them to say goodbye. She couldn't believe that the week would come so quickly; but she was very happy that he spent his last days with her and the orphans.

He held her hands tightly inside his and in a low and weak voice he apologized to her. "There's no need to apologize Kira..." Lacus told him. 'Why is it so hard for me to leave her?' Kira thought.

"I'll try my best to visit you and the orphans here okay?"

"So please be okay until I get back!"

Lacus only nodded and smiled weakly. Kira turned around and went inside the car. Everybody waved their hands to him in goodbye. Lacus frowned as she saw the car disappear from her sight... "Goodbye Kira...I'll be waiting for your return...if there is still something to wait for..."

**End Here**

Well...what do you think...? this is not a one shot...ehehehehehehehehehe! reviews please!


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